Gay Parenting Latest Craze: Uber Gay Dads Who Worry Their Kid Might Be Gay

24 July, 2010 | Derrick Mathis | 1 Comment

I wonder if I can exchange him if he turns out to be a big ole queen...

Anybody had a chance to check the last issue of Details lately? The mag has quite the eyebrow raiser feature this month about these rich white gay dads and their closeted paranoia that their dream of a butch toddler may not be so butch after all. No, we’re not kidding.

Can you imagine, all this fighting for equal rights and what not only to discover that rich gay white men secretly want to breed sons who have more fondness for Tonka trucks than Tinkerbell dolls? That is just the living end. What’s this saying about the matter of raising gay kids by straight parents? It’s kinda like well hey, if straights don’t want gay kids and gays don’t want gay kids then maybe these arguments against gays being parents are not so far out in left field when you think about it.

Like, is this a deal like what happens and has happened culturally with some blacks in regard to light-skinned verses dark-skinned? And how light-skinned is preferred among some African Americans in terms of choice in a spouse, favoritism among the children and/or own siblings—–so now gay men with sons who are turn out to be flaming queens—-are y’all gonna be embarrassed about it?

In a weird way, this doesn’t surprise us. Quiet as it’s kept some gay men, particularly those who are of the more wealthy persuasion, tend to treat spouses, relationships and what nots like trophies. Stands to reason this would apply to their offspring biological or otherwise. These kind of people have an insane infatuation with perfection as in the school of Joan Crawford.

So, we can see some rich fat Hollywood Hills queen making sure his genetically superior product of a handpicked surrogate Aryan coupling, we can see the poor child if male spend most of his post-nursing days chaufferred to and fro to various lessons in physical butchdom such as soccer, fencing, Karate and hang gliding for juniors—child abuse by any other name is the way we see it.

The following is the Details mag story. Keep in mind—it’s not made up.

Jerry (not his real name) is an unapologetic Hollywood liberal. He drives a Prius and supports Barack Obama. He’s as open-minded about homosexuality as a fortyish heterosexual Little League dad can be. In fact, as someone who’s responsible for the day-to-day operations of some of TV’s biggest comedies, Jerry might as well be the mayor of Gayberry. “If I’m on a set and there are no gay people, I actually get worried,” he says.

Geoff (not his real name) is the same way. A history professor and author in New York City, he is surrounded by a veritable gay army—his editor, his literary agent, his closest confidants (“Gay, gay, way gay,” he says)—and that’s the way the happily married 42-year-old father, whose idea of heaven is courtside Knicks seats, likes it.

But while Jerry, Geoff, and other progressive dads of their generation are more than happy to down margaritas and watch Project Runway with gay friends, they’re not so comfortable with the idea of their own offspring going the way of Dumbledore. And only on the condition of anonymity will they elaborate on why, exactly.

“That,” Geoff says after a pained sigh, “would be tricky.” He explains that it was worrisome enough when his 6-year-old son watched the Hannah Montana movie recently “with a little too much glee.” Jerry too has reckoned with the issue. When his son, now 8, was 3, “he made us buy him a princess costume for Halloween. I thought, Oh, shit. Here we go. But then we went to his friend Joshy’s house, and Joshy said, ‘You can’t dress up as a girl.’ At which point my kid threw Joshy to the ground. I thought, Okay, we’re gonna be fine.